You are lonely without your nation.

Medet Ahmetson

20 august 2021

Imagine, at the party, you destroyed your relationship with people around you in a foreign country.

You sit on your motorbike, then ride somewhere. I can’t say where because it was in my dream.

Then, you got in a traffic accident right next to the motorbike repair service. You see, their reaction is zero. No laugh, no empathy. Feels lonely.

You stand up and walk by the street. Suddenly you see a smiling face. She is not that beautiful, but still charismatic. You felt lonely and wanted to talk to someone.

You talk to her, she replies. Then, you ask her, “Where is she from?” She replies, “Turkmenistan”. And imagine you are also from that country. You respond with excitement, “I am from Turkmenistan,” as well.

It’s a small, landlocked country right at the center of Asia. It's exotic, so you barely see anyone who even knows the name of the land. And she replies, “I know”, to your excited comment.

Then you ask her what she is doing; she replies, “Programming, development”. The same thing as you do. You are more excited, as you’ve met a person who has a similar lifestyle. Even her cold answers, her eyes looking at the road, when she replies to you, don’t matter. She then replies, “But I will not do business in China”. You planned that, too. It's hard to create a company in China as a foreigner. So you ask her, “Oh, you wanted to gain experience in China, then travel to the West to set up your business?”. But she is ghosting you. What happened? Nothing.

You open your phone; you want to see or talk to Turkmens after seeing your countrymate. And in the groups, you read that admins kicked you out. You felt so sad, so depressed.

You want to see Turkmens; even if you don’t want to talk, you still want to be in a company and feel part of it. It's beneficial not to feel abandoned in the harsh times. And it's not going to happen.

They reject you. Turkmens are ignoring you in your hard times. They ghost you speaking, even in real life. What is that? How much would you feel if your parents left you?